Aaron's Story

I know it's been awhile since I blogged but I need to write this. This story gets a little graphic at parts so be warned.

I thought I was pregnant so I took a test and it came back negative, I was really disappointed by this! I was really emotional and heart-burny so I took another one a week later and....

We were very excited, I worked out the baby's due date as March 30, 2011. If he/she came early, then we'd have a baby in March and a baby in April (Ian).
We set to work telling our families and friends and I excitedly called the doctor to make an appointment.
I got a little morning nausea but not half as bad as I did with Ian. I had some of the tiredness but none of the achy boobs. I was way more emotional but my hair kept shedding like it did after I had Ian.
We had our first appointment when I was 11 weeks and the doctor thought that I might be one week less and my due date would actually be April 6. I thought that I would carry on with my original due date until the bloodwork and ultrasound proved otherwise.
When I was 13 (almost 14) weeks, I had a little bit of spotting. I freaked out a little but we were 3 hours away from home and it stopped quickly. We drove home the next day and I decided that since there was no more blood, I wouldn't worry about it. After we got home, there was more spotting and more blood so I went to emergency. Someone came to babysit Ian and I remember saying to God that I believe that He loves us and our baby so no matter what, I'll not stop believing that. They couldn't find the baby on the trauma ultrasound but the doctor said it wasn't working right so she told me to come back the next morning for an ultrasound. Ben and I went back the next day at 7 am. (it was his birthday) I was now 14 weeks pregnant by my count. They did the ultrasound and couldn't find anything the normal way so they did a transvaginal ultrasound. (not comfortable by the way) We went back to the emergency department to wait for the results.
When the doctor came in, I knew it wasn't good news. She told us that the baby had died at 7 weeks. There was no heartbeat. She also told us that since I was showing signs of miscarriage, they would send me home and let it happen. I don't know how to describe the emotions that we felt.
Since I'd had a feeling it was a boy all along, we named the baby Aaron which means mountain of strength. Simon, which means God hears, didn't seem appropriate anymore. (although we do believe that God hears)
I didn't want to miscarry on Ben's birthday and God listened to that prayer. Throughout the day, the spotting got a little heavier but it wasn't bleeding. I started to get some cramps.
The next morning, I woke with really intense cramps and went to the bathroom. A lot of blood came out but didn't stop. After about 45 minutes of this, we called telecare to see how much blood we should expect. They didn't answer but told us to go to emergency. (their answer for anything) We listened and the blood stopped till we got to the hospital but the cramps were getting worse.
It was the first time that I saw the triage nurse and was wheeled right into a room. For the next two hours, the cramps got bad then I would go to the bathroom and fill the toilet with blood then go back and lie down just to have that happen again. At one point, the nurse started an IV. After the 3rd or 4th time that happened, I started to feel woozy. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was down to 105/68. (I'm usually about 125/83) She got me to stand up to take it again. I leaned against Ben and heard a great rushing sound in my ears and the room started spinning. Ben nudged me so I landed on the bed rather than the floor and the nurse wheeled me into the trauma part of the ER.
My blood pressure had dropped to 75/50.
They hooked me up to heart moniters and gave me two units of blood. This was when it went from 'I'm sad that my baby died and I'm loosing him.' to 'I'm loosing a lot of blood and may die from this.' At this point I started praying and God answered and reminded me of some promises He'd made to me. Since God doesn't lie, I felt better about it.
The doctor thought that there was some tissue stuck in my cervix that was causing all the bleeding so she suctioned it. (again, NOT comfortable) The bleeding seemed to slow then and my blood pressure was slowly coming up. Ben decided that he'd step out to get something to eat at this point.
At around 4 pm, they called for a OB consult. She did the pelvic exam from H-E-double-hockey-sticks and found that the bleeding was still happening and she recommended a D and C. She started planning it, and told me the risks. One of the risks was that if the baby had implanted in my C-section scar, she'd have to actually open me up to fix that. She told me that if that was the case, she'd wake me up from anesthetic to tell me. She also said that one in a million times, they can't save the uterus so I'd be looking at a hysterectomy. She asked me to sign a form saying she'd gone through the risks and that I OK'ed the surgery.
Ben still hadn't come back and I felt that I couldn't make this decision without him and I wouldn't sign the form till I'd talked to him. The nurse brought me a phone and I started calling to find him. When I got ahold of him (on the cell phone) he was just walking into the hospital.
The room was all set up and I was wheeled into surgery. I remember someone saying that she was starting the anesthetic in my IV and someone giving me oxygen (it tastes awful) then I remember being in the recovery room and it was spinning. They had a hard time waking me from the anesthetic but I slowly woke and was able to come home at about 8:30 that night. Ben bought me a blizzard from DQ that tasted really good.

This is Aaron's story. We were so excited to have him, and are still upset to not have him anymore. I hope that when we get to heaven, he recognizes us and we recognize him.